its been a while again - what have I accomplished? nothing...as usual.... had the worst nightmares ever that I could never forget the frightening feelings on that nite.. the nite that i spit out all my sorrowness to some1. some1 that i think that will only listen to me out of every1 since my shit has been the same for the past months. mayb i should kept silent for days..to think abt my own way of thinking. what do i want realli..? when i heard that he was leaving the day before the 22nd. okay, i felt like my heart just sank.. it's not like it hurts but thinking of he has forgotten the memories that we had, it totally makes me look dumb. he "played it off" yes he did . isn't coz i pretended what we had were nothing to me at all. well obviously, you don't know me. it is a right choice from the start that we should be out of each other's life. no blaming here, but i still duno how to deal with you when it comes to you. no love, no hate...wat is left? how useless ... to not know what i want. OH but there nothing i can choose from. today you told me that you all have change your flight to the date after my birthday. i was happy. but for another moment, i wished u all didnt change it.. i always believe in if somebody is yours then he/she will at the end be yours. will there be really some1 out there thinking of me. will there? common question in our minds rite? okay. i felt being loved few weeks ago, but turns out that maybe im too scared to b treated so well with.. sorry if ive been aggressive.. im afraid of...getting hurt....or being silly or if someday im not being treated the same...i'll go crazy. well then, maybe its juz all of my too much thinking goin on again. i like how it goes rite now. giving up? nah that was in my old dictionary. let it be. a better PP! gogogo! sooooooooooooooo, time to focus on solid work instead of mind work. good nites world.  mayb u dunno, i miss u and not him. |